


Will the Real House and Cameron Stand Up?

by sharp2799



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Angst, Crack, F/M, Het, Humor, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-21
Updated: 2012-09-21
Packaged: 2017-11-14 18:09:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharp2799/pseuds/sharp2799
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cameron goes to House. Spoilery for season 5. Adult for language and theme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will the Real House and Cameron Stand Up?

**Author's Note:**

> Mega thanks to lilferret at LJ for her beta work.
> 
> All I can say is, weirdness happened. ;)

Cameron banged on the door determinedly. “House! Open the damned door!” Getting no answer, she found his spare key and entered.

The apartment was a mess. Clothes lay strewn all over the living room and dishes were visibly piled up on the dining room table. The man himself was draped over the couch, an almost-empty liquor bottle by his side.

House glared and took another gulp from the glass in his hand. “Locked doors mean keep out.”

“What are you doing? You’re supposed to be in the office!” Cameron peered into his eyes, tilting his face towards the light.

He swatted her away. “Get out.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? Do you really need to ask that?”

Cameron straightened and gazed at him silently. Then she removed her coat and sat beside him.

House peered at her sideways but she faced forward.

“No,” said Cameron softly.

“No, what? In case it hasn’t yet gotten into your brain cells, I’m more than a bit drunk. But I’m pretty sure I hadn’t asked you to have sex with me yet.”

She turned to face him and placed a hand on his thigh. “No, I don’t need to ask what’s wrong with you. I’m—I guess I thought…you’ve been handling it so well, I thought you didn’t care. I should have known better. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry enough for a pity fuck?” House leered.

She removed her hand but winked. “Ask me later.”

He eyed her in surprise but then sighed and put the glass down. “Christ, Cameron. They’ve got me playing up to Cuddy. _Cuddy_. I had to kiss her.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and leaned his head back against the couch, closing his eyes. “And then I had to play a cold fucker, standing there with my hand on her breast. What are they doing to my character?”

She winced at the pain in his voice and slumped down, leaning against his side. “I don’t know. It’s not like you even see me there for longer than 5 seconds. I thought when we had to do the agoraphobic guy thing that you and I would get more time together afterwards but they just stuck me in the wings again.”

“With Chase,” House said venomously.

Cameron shuddered and reached for his glass on the coffee table. She downed the remaining contents. “Don’t remind me.”

They sat in silence a while longer. House lifted his arm and placed it over Cameron’s shoulders, hugging her to him.

“What did I do to make them to do this to me?” Cameron whispered. “Is 13 so much better?”

“No.” He kissed her hair, not seeming to notice how she tensed. “Look what they’ve been doing to me. My character…I’m such a heartless bastard now. How the fuck do they expect me to live with myself?”

“They just keep writing us like we don’t care what direction we’d go in.”

Silence reigned once more. Then,

“House?”

“Yeah?”

“Still want that pity fuck?”

“Yeah.”

They untangled and stood up slowly. House picked up his cane and held out his other hand. She took it and they walked slowly to the bedroom.

“So…this is a pity fuck?” she said casually.

“Yep…without the pity part.” He smiled at her and she smiled back.


End file.
